This week’s reading assignment:

Red Book page 106, first paragraph

Red Book page 110, the two paragraphs beginning with “In Step Four, . . .”

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Tradition Two (the tradition for the month of February) in depth starting on page 497 of the Red Book

Suggested supplemental reading:

“The Family Myth,” an article by Mark Sichel and Alicia L. Cervini, found online at http://www.psybersquare.com/family/myth.html

Friel, John and Linda, “Adult Children: The Secrets of Dysfunctional Families,” pages 82-83. See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.” 

Bradshaw, John, “Family Secrets: What You Don’t Know Can Hurt You.” See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.” 

Tradition Two (the tradition for the month of February) in depth starting on page 497 of the Red Book

Suggested supplemental text for 4^th Step work:

The AlAnon workbook titled “Blueprint for Progress: Al-Anon’s Fourth Step Inventory,
Revised” (copyright date 2004, with the black text and deeper blue-and-white-checked cover; available from AlAnon or on Amazon.com.)   See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

Multiple sections of the AlAnon workbook are useful for in-depth Fourth Step work.  Meeting members who have already completed a yellow workbook Step Four may wish to expand your 4^th Step work by journaling on the “Blueprint for Progress” questions.

This week’s step study questions:

The Family Secrets Inventory on page 82 of the yellow workbook. The following questions are adapted from the Family Secrets Inventory:

Describe one of your family’s “story lines” or images that was presented to friends and outsiders. What was the family reality beneath the story line or carefully presented public image?

“© Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.”

Deep Dive questions:

A. In what ways do secrets hamper my recovery?

B. In what ways has denial perpetuated my {Laundry List traits}?

C. In what ways does working Step Four give me a balanced view of myself?

© Al-Anon’s Reaching for Personal Freedom Workbook

This week’s reading assignment:

Yellow workbook pages 70 – 78 OR BRB pages 150 – 166

The Laundry List, on the first few pages of both the Red Book and the yellow workbook

Red Book page xxvi, “ACA Disease Model ~ Adult Child”

Red Book page 150, “A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words”

Red Book page 153, “Getting Started On Step Four”

Red Book page 302, “The Inner Child ~ True Self”

“The Problem” on page 589 of the ACA Red Book

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Tradition Two (the tradition for the month of February) in depth starting on page 497 of the Red Book

Suggested supplemental text for 4^th Step work:

The AlAnon workbook titled “Blueprint for Progress: Al-Anon’s Fourth Step Inventory,
Revised” (copyright date 2004, with the black text and deeper blue-and-white-checked cover; available from AlAnon or on Amazon.com.)   See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.” 

Multiple sections of the AlAnon workbook are useful for in-depth Fourth Step work.  Meeting members who have already completed a yellow workbook Step Four may wish to expand your 4^th Step work by journaling on the “Blueprint for Progress” questions.

This week’s step study questions are on pages 79-81 of the yellow workbook.  The following questions are adapted from the Laundry List Worksheet on page 81 of the workbook:

Describe a childhood incident that might have helped create a Laundry List trait. What caused the event? How did it make you feel? (Hint: see the feelings list on pages 77-78 of the yellow workbook.) What was your Inner Chiid’s reaction? Which Laundry List trait might have developed as a result of the event?

“Copyrighted by Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.”

Deep Dive questions:

A. Do I avoid constantly searching for hidden motives behind what other people say or do?

B. Can I give others the benefit of the doubt?

C. Do I avoid manipulating people by telling them what they want to hear instead of what I really think or feel?

D. Can I be straightforward with others, letting them know me as I really am?

E. Have I ever listed and analyzed my fears?

F. Can I accept a certain amount of insecurity in my life without fearing that everything will fall apart?

G. Have I developed some sense of my right to be treated with dignity?

H. Do I steer clear of getting others to feel sorry for me?

I. Are my responsibilities to myself kept in good balance with my desire to reach out to others?

J. Can I listen to other people’s problems without worrying about them?

K. Have I done all I can to rid myself of guilty feelings about the past?

L. Once a conflict is over and I have expressed my anger, can I let it go?

M. Do I appreciate my talents and abilities?

N. Do I act on my own behalf and set my own goals?

O. Can I resist giving in just to keep peace when my own welfare and integrity are involved?

P. Do I have a purpose in my life?

Q. Can I discipline myself in healthy and comfortable ways so that I can accomplish things?

© Al-Anon’s Blueprint for Progress Workbook

This week’s reading assignment:

Yellow workbook pages 62 – 64 OR BRB pages 145 – 149

Red Book Chapters 5 and 8

Red Book page 73, the four paragraphs starting “While the alcoholic . . .”

Red Book pages 144-145, the six paragraphs starting “By making a decision . . .”

Red Book page 294

Red Book pages 454-456

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Suggested supplemental reading: 

Tradition Two (the tradition for the month of February) in depth starting on page 542 of the Red Book

Melody Beattie, “Codependents’ Guide To The Twelve Steps,” pages 49 – 57 starting with the heading “Turning It Over” in the Step Three chapter. See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

Suggested supplemental text for 3^rd and 4^th Step work:

The AlAnon workbook titled “Blueprint for Progress: Al-Anon’s Fourth Step Inventory,
Revised” (copyright date 2004, with the black text and deeper blue-and-white-checked cover; available from AlAnon or on Amazon.com.)   See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

The section on Control (pages 29-31) is especially useful for Third Step work.

This week’s step study questions are on pages 67-68 under the heading “Step Three Spiritual Principles: Willingness and Accepting Help:”

1. Am I willing to do whatever it takes to work my ACA program and to focus on myself? (What am I willing to do?)
2. What am I surrendering so that I can make ACA a priority in my life?
3. What actions can I take that show that I am surrendering and facing my childhood experiences?
4. Can I begin at the level of willingness? Can I be willing to be willing to surrender?
5. Can I begin by surrendering my self-hate and self-harming behavior?
6. Am I willing to ask for help?
7. Am I willing to accept help if I ask for help?
8. How is asking for help a form of giving up control?

“Copyrighted by Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.”

Deep Dive questions:

A. What keeps me from surrendering to the God of my understanding?

B. In what ways do I struggle with giving up my will?

C. What has been my experience when I have turned my will over to the God of my understanding?

D. When have I seen a Higher Power working in the lives of those around me?

© Al-Anon’s Reaching for Personal Freedom Workbook

E. How does your current mode of accepting help (dependent, counterdependent, independent, and interdependent) fit with your perception of God or your Higher Power?

© Patrick Carnes’ A Gentle Path Through The Twelve Steps

Reading assignment for this week:

Yellow workbook pages 62 – 64 OR BRB pages 145 – 149

Red Book Chapters 5 and 8

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Suggested supplemental reading: 

Tradition One (the tradition for the month of January) in depth starting on Red Book page 491

Melody Beattie, “Codependents’ Guide To The Twelve Steps,” page 49 under the heading “As We Understood God” in the Step Three chapter.) See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

Suggested supplemental text for 3^rd and 4^th Step work:

The AlAnon workbook titled “Blueprint for Progress: Al-Anon’s Fourth Step Inventory, Revised” (copyright date 2004, with the black text and deeper blue-and-white-checked cover; available from AlAnon or on Amazon.com.)   See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”  The section on Spirituality (pgs 84-86) is useful for in-depth Third Step work.

This week’s step study questions are found on page 67 of the yellow workbook under the heading “As We Understand God:”

1. 1)  Can I ask my Higher Power to be there for me no matter what happens?
2. Will I be abandoned by God if I don’t work a perfect program of recovery quickly enough?
3. Why does God refuse to reject me or let me go when I feel unimportant or not worthy?
4. Can I ask a Higher Power to help me release my most glaring controlling behaviors?
5. How do I accept God’s unconditional love for me?
6. What does reparenting myself have to do with Step Three? Who is the “actual parent?” (Hint: Read The Solution on Red Book page 590.)

“Copyrighted by Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.”

Deep Dive questions:

A. When I “Let Go and Let God” take care of my life, am I willing to follow the guidance I receive?

B. How can I turn a situation over and let go of the results?

C. How can I stop myself from taking my will back?

© Al-Anon’s Paths to Recovery Workbook

Reading assignment for this week:

Yellow workbook pages 62 – 64 OR BRB pages 145 – 149

Red Book Chapter 5

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Suggested supplemental reading: 

Tradition One (the tradition for the month of January) in depth starting on Red Book page 491

                          Melody Beattie, “Codependents’ Guide To The Twelve Steps,” pgs 46-48 (the first three pages of the

Step Three chapter.) See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

Suggested supplemental text for 3^rd and 4^th Step work:

The AlAnon workbook titled “Blueprint for Progress: Al-Anon’s Fourth Step Inventory,
Revised” (copyright date 2004, with the black text and deeper blue-and-white-checked cover; available from AlAnon or on Amazon.com.)   See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”  The section on Spirituality (pgs 84-86) are useful for in-depth Third Step work.

This week’s step study questions are found on page 66 of the yellow workbook under the heading “Made A Decision:”

1. What will happen if I make a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of God as I understand God?
2. Can I talk to another ACA member about how they made a decision to turn over their will and life to a Higher Power?
3. Do I realize that the Higher Power that brought me to ACA is still with me and will never abandon me?
4. Do I realize that God is the actual parent and has been there for me all along?
5. Do I believe that God hears my prayers?
6. Do I understand that I am cared for by God no matter what I have done?

“Copyrighted by Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.”

Deep Dive questions:

A. Based on what you have learned about recovery so far, how do you see the “turning over” process of Step Three? What are the things that might prevent you, emotionally and intellectually, from accepting the help of a Higher Power?

© Patrick Carnes’ A Gentle Path Through The Twelve Steps

B. Even if I don’t believe in a Higher Power the way other people do, how can I apply Step Three in my life?

C. How does practicing Step Three help to alleviate my fears?

© Al-Anon’s Reaching for Personal Freedom Workbook

Reading assignment for this week:

Yellow workbook pages 57 – top of page 62 OR BRB pages 138 – 145

Red Book pages 106 – 108, section titled “Examining Spiritual Beliefs”

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Suggested supplemental reading: 

Tradition One (the tradition for the month of January) in depth starting on Red Book page 491

Red Book Chapter 8

Suggested supplemental text for 3^rd and 4^th Step work:

The AlAnon workbook titled “Blueprint for Progress: Al-Anon’s Fourth Step Inventory,
Revised” (copyright date 2004, with the black text and deeper blue-and-white-checked cover; available from AlAnon or on Amazon.com.)   See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”  The section on Spirituality (pgs 84-86) are useful for in-depth Third Step work.

This week’s step study questions are found on pages 65 – 66 of the yellow workbook under the heading “Step Three Questions and Information”:

6. Did my parents act one way during worshiping services and another way at home?

7. How does my attempt to control others or my emotions interfere with God working in my life? (Give a specific example.)

8. What is one area of my life I can begin to think about lessening my control urges?

9. Do I know how to have fun?

“Copyrighted by Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.”

Deep Dive questions:

A. If you knew that you had no power to control events, outcomes, or a particular person, how would you behave differently? What would you say or do? What would you stop saying or doing? What would you do differently for yourself in order to enjoy your own life now, to live in the present moment?

B. If you weren’t allowing someone else, or a particular circumstance, to control you, what would you be doing differently? What would you do today with your life? How would you feel?

C. What is the most loving, most nurturing thing available to you right now that you can use to take care of yourself and enjoy life? What will you do with it?

© Melody Beattie’s Codependents Guide To The Twelve Steps

Reading assignment for this week:

Yellow workbook pages 57 – top of page 62 OR BRB pages 138 – 145

Red Book pages 106 – 108, section titled “Examining Spiritual Beliefs”

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Suggested supplemental reading: 

Tradition One (the tradition for the month of January) in depth starting on Red Book page 491

Red Book Chapter 8

Suggested supplemental text for 3^rd and 4^th Step work:

The AlAnon workbook titled “Blueprint for Progress: Al-Anon’s Fourth Step Inventory,
Revised” (copyright date 2004, with the black text and deeper blue-and-white-checked cover; available from AlAnon or on Amazon.com.)   See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”  The section on Spirituality (pgs 84-86) is useful for in-depth Third Step work.

This week’s step study questions are found on page 65 of the yellow workbook under the heading “Step Three Questions and Information”:

1. Did I pray to a Higher Power and never seem to have prayers answered?
2. What was I told about God by my parents, religious leaders and friends? Was I allowed to ask questions?
3. If I drew a picture of God or the Divine Power of the Universe, what would it look like?
4. What was I told about prayer by parents, religious leaders and friends?
5. Was it acceptable for me to be angry at a Higher Power?

“Copyrighted by Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.”

Deep Dive questions:

A. Is my current idea of a Higher Power working for me, or do I need to change it? What might work?

© Diana Lea’s AA Powerful 12 Step Workbook

B. What obstacles do your religious background or upbringing give you for trusting a Higher Power?

C. How have your perceptions of God or your Higher Power changed over time?

© Patrick Carnes’ A Gentle Path Through The Twelve Steps

Reading assignment for this week:

Yellow workbook pages 47 – 50 OR Big Red Book (BRB) pages 135 – 137

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Suggested supplemental reading: 

Tradition One (the tradition for the month of January) in depth starting on Red Book page 491

“Codependent’s Guide to the Twelve Steps” by Melody Beattie, pages 40 – 45. See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.” (This book is available used on Amazon.com for around $4.00 USD.)

Suggested supplemental exercises:  Yellow workbook pages 55 – 56

This week’s step study questions are found on page 55 of the yellow workbook under the headings “Sanity/Higher Power” and “Step Two Spiritual Principles: Openmindedness and Clarity”:

6. Will I consider the possibility that I can face my emotions with help from my sponsor and ACA friends?

7. Can I come to believe there is hope for me?

1. Is my behavior as an adult, no matter how bizarre or self-defeating, a response to being raised in an alcoholic or dysfunctional home?
2. Can I believe or be open to the promise of another way to live with clarity in ACA?
3. Am I open to the possibility that being an adult child is a spiritual problem rather than a mental problem?

“Copyrighted by Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.”

Deep Dive questions:

A. What actions have you been/are you willing to take to find your Higher Power?

B. How would you describe the experience of having a Higher Power in your life?

C. How has my belief in a Higher Power changed since I came into recovery?

D. What parts of my life do I have hope about today?

© Podenco Press’ 12 Step Workbook

Reading assignment for this week’s work:

Yellow workbook pages 10 – 11 and 44 – 50 OR Big Red Book pages 106 – 108 and 130 – 135

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Suggested supplemental reading:

Tradition Twelve (the tradition for the month of December) in depth starting on Red Book page 549

“Codependent’s Guide to the Twelve Steps” by Melody Beattie, pages 37 – 40. See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.” (This book is available used on Amazon.com for around $4.00 USD.)

This week’s step study questions are found on page 54 of the yellow workbook under the heading “Sanity/Higher Power”:

1. Do I realize I may be the most sane member of my family because I am seeking recovery?
2. Do I realize I am not unique and that other adult children think and act like me?
3. Can I come to believe that I have had an inner strength all along that helped me survive an abusive childhood?
4. Can I come to believe that a Higher Power has been with me always and helped me survive until I could find ACA?
5. Do I believe I can love myself and ask for help? That I don’t have to do this alone?

“Copyrighted by Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.”

Deep Dive questions:

A. What do I hope to gain from accepting the concept of a Power greater than myself?

B. What does “Let go and let God” mean to me?

© Al-Anon’s Paths to Recovery Workbook

Reading assignment:

Yellow workbook pages 10 – 11 and 44 – 50 OR Big Red Book pages 106 – 108 and 130 – 135

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Suggested supplemental reading: 

Tradition Twelve (the tradition for the month of December) in depth starting on Red Book page 549

“A Codependent’s Guide To The Twelve Steps” by Melody Beattie, Step Two chapter (available used on Amazon.com for around $4.00 USD.)* See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

This week’s step study questions are found on page 53 – 54 of the yellow workbook under the heading “Came To Believe”:

1. Does my God have similar behavior or features of my parents, i.e., harshness, indifference, distant, judging etc?
2. What do I remember being told about faith, belief, prayer and forgiveness?
3. Do I have a “getcha God,” a God who keeps score and punishes me for mistakes?
4. Do I have an austere God, who seems hard to internalize or to approach in prayer?
5. Does God or the Power of the Universe hear my prayers?
6. Does a Higher Power love me?

“Copyrighted by Adult Children of Alcoholics World Service Organization.”

Deep Dive questions:

A. What does faith mean to me?

B. With whom and in what circumstances am I comfortable discussing my spiritual experiences?

C. What might I gain from believing I could be supported and loved by a Power greater than myself?

© Al-Anon’s Paths to Recovery Workbook