Reading assignment for our final meeting in this step study series:

Yellow workbook, pages 173 to 183 OR BRB pages 279 – 294

Red Book pages 590 and 591, “The Solution” and “The Promises”

Red Book chapter 10, “The Importance of Service in ACA”

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Tradition Eight (the tradition for the month of August) in detail starting on page 527 of the BRB

Suggested supplemental reading:

Melody Beattie, “Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps,” the Step Twelve chapter, pages 182-198 of the 1990 edition.  See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

Red Book chapter 11, “ACA Sponsorship – Fellow Travelers” See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

This week’s step study questions are adapted from the yellow workbook and from Melody Beattie’s book, “Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps” with the author’s permission:

1. How have you grown spiritually since you began your recovery? How would you describe your spiritual awakening as a result of working the Steps? What daily actions will you take to remain spiritually awake?
2. How will you carry the message to those who still suffer? What will your 12^th Step service look like?
3. How have you begun to take recovery principles to areas of your life other than your primary relationships? In what areas of your life would you like to experience more healing, growth, and change?
4. How has your relationship with yourself changed since you began recovery? How do you treat yourself differently now? Have you awakened to the beauty and joy of yourself?

Deep Dive questions:

A. What would change if I viewed service as my goal in every area of my life?

B. In what areas of my life do I need to start practicing these principles? What can I do this week to make a beginning?

C. How am I living the message of the program?

© Al-Anon’s Paths to Recovery Workbook

Final Night Review:

Which step study sections went on too long? Which were not long enough?

Which reading and writing assignments really resonated with you, and which left you flat?

Did the Deep Dive questions add anything to your Steps work?

What changes would you like to see to the yellow workbook step study, if any?

Reading assignment for this week:

Yellow workbook pages 162-172 OR BRB pages 263 – 278

Red Book chapter 12, “Relapse”

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Tradition Eight (the tradition for the month of August) in detail starting on page 527 of the BRB

Suggested supplemental reading:

Melody Beattie, “Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps,” the Step Eleven chapter, pages 168-181 of the 1990 edition.  See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

The book “Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children” by Earnie Larsen and Carol Larsen Hegarty. See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

This week’s step study questions are adapted from the yellow workbook, the Step Eleven worksheet on http://12-steps-recovery.com, and from Melody Beattie’s book, “Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps” with the author’s permission:

1. What makes you feel most connected to other people and the world around you?
2. Can you recall any time that your life was headed in the wrong direction? If so, what brought you back?
3. Has anything you have ever read or otherwise learned changed you in some deep and fundamental way?
4. If you had only one week to live and unlimited resources, whom would you gather around you, and how would you spend your last week in this life?
5. What do you hope your obituary will say?

Deep Dive questions:

A. What personal spiritual experiences can I draw on to help me improve my conscious contact with a Higher Power?

B. How do I define the difference between prayer and meditation?

C. Is something blocking me in this Step today? What is it? What Steps can I review to help me feel connected again?

D. What do I need to have the power to carry out my Higher Power’s will for me? Have I asked my Higher Power for that power?

© Al-Anon’s Paths to Recovery Workbook

Reading assignment for this week:

Yellow workbook pages 162-172 OR BRB pages 263 – 278

Red Book chapter 12, “Relapse”

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Tradition Eight (the tradition for the month of August) in detail starting on page 527 of the BRB

Suggested supplemental reading:

Melody Beattie, “Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps,” the Step Eleven chapter, pages 168-181 of the 1990 edition.  See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

The book “Days of Healing, Days of Joy: Daily Meditations for Adult Children” by Earnie Larson and Carol Larson Hegarty. See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

This week’s step study questions are adapted from the yellow workbook, the Step Eleven worksheet on http://12-steps-recovery.com, and from Melody Beattie’s book, “Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps” with the author’s permission:

1. How would you describe your beliefs about God and a Higher Power to a child?
2. What are your favorite sources of wisdom and knowledge about healthy values?
3. Have you begun the discipline of prayer in your life? What does that consist of? What are your feelings and fears about praying, about talking to [your Higher Power?] What time of day works best for prayer? Do you have a favorite place? (© Melody Beattie, Codependents Guide)
4. How do you meditate? Do you like meditation books or tapes? Which are your favorites? When is your best time for reading a meditation? Have you experimented with any other forms of meditation? (© Melody Beattie, Codependents Guide)
5. What other activities help you relax and get in touch with yourself? (© Melody Beattie, Codependents Guide)

Deep Dive questions:

A. What do you think is the purpose of Step Eleven?

B. How do you feel about praying? How do you feel about meditating?

C. In what ways have you taken your will back from your Higher Power?

D. Why does this Step focus on your Higher Power’s will for you and not what you personally want?

E. Have you been given what you need? What are some of the things you have received?

© Podenco Press’ 12 Step Workbook

Reading assignment for this week:

Yellow workbook pages 147-152 OR BRB pages 250 – 257

Red Book pages 10-18

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Tradition Seven (the tradition for the month of July) in depth starting on page 522 of the BRB

Suggested supplemental reading:

Melody Beattie, “Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps,” the Step Ten chapter, pages 153-167 of the 1990 edition.  See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

Patrick Carnes, “A Gentle Path Through The Twelve Steps,” the Personal Craziness Index section. See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

Red Book Chapter 8, “The Solution: Becoming Your Own Loving Parent”

This week’s step study questions are excerpted from the yellow workbook, the Step Ten worksheet on http://12-steps-recovery.com, and from Melody Beattie’s book, “Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps” with the author’s permission:

1. Complete the Personal Inventory exercise on page 158 of the yellow workbook, then please share your answers to the following questions with the group as you are willing:
   • h. Am I attending ACA meetings to nurture myself and to give back what was given to me?
   • i. Have I acted helpful recently to manipulate others?
   • j. Am I secretly angry at someone, but I am avoiding talking about it?
   • k. Have I listened to my Inner Child or True Self today?
   • l. Did I judge myself or someone else without mercy today?
   • m. Am I listening to the Critical Parent or Loving Parent?
   • n. Am I remembering that I can ask for help today and that I can call someone?
2. How will you continue your process of self-awareness and inventorying? Will you spend time each morning or evening reviewing your day? Or will you allow your insights to happen naturally, as you go through life and recovery? Will you combine tactics? What method(s) do you think will work best for you? (© Melody Beattie, Codependents Guide)

Deep Dive questions:

A. After practicing the Tenth Step, how have my feelings about it changed?

B. What can help me accept myself as I make mistakes again and again?

C. How can I be patient with myself if I feel I’m not growing fast enough?

D. What will help me continue to apply program tools when life gets rough?

© Al-Anon’s Paths to Recovery Workbook

Reading assignment for this week:

Yellow workbook pages 147-152 OR BRB pages 250 – 257

Red Book pages 10-18

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book Tradition Seven (the tradition for the month of July) in depth starting on page 522 of the BRB

Suggested supplemental reading:

Melody Beattie, “Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps,” the Step Ten chapter, pages 153-167 of the 1990 edition.  See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

Patrick Carnes, “A Gentle Path Through The Twelve Steps,” the Personal Craziness Index section. See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

Red Book Chapter 8, “The Solution: Becoming Your Own Loving Parent”

This week’s step study questions are excerpted from the yellow workbook, the Step Ten worksheet on http://12-steps-recovery.com, and from Melody Beattie’s book, “Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps” with the author’s permission:

1. Complete the Personal Inventory exercise on page 158 of the yellow workbook, then please share your answers to the following questions with the group as you are willing:
   • a. Am I isolating and not talking about what is really going on with me?
   • b. Did I view anyone as an authority figure today and feel frightened or rebellious?
   • c. Did I dissociate, fantasize, or become involved in self-harm today?
   • d. Am I keeping secrets and feeling unique? Am I talking about my feelings?
   • e. Am I being honest in my relationships or am I seeking approval over honesty?
   • f. Am I acting “perfect” and obsessing over making mistakes?
   • g. Do I overreact or isolate from others when I perceive that I have been criticized?
2. When was the last time you caught yourself doing something you didn’t feel good about? Did you take care of the issue promptly?
3. What are some amends or remedies that you should make when you find out that you are wrong?
4. What new behaviors would you like to try to make your program more effective? How would you go about implementing these?
5. What is your plan to allow time for reflection each day?

Deep Dive questions:

A. How do I feel about continuing to take a personal inventory?

B. What means of taking daily inventory is comfortable for me?

C. How do I know when to make amends and when not to?

D. What characteristics {Laundry List traits} show up most often in my inventory?

E. Why do I resist having them removed?

© Al-Anon’s Paths to Recovery Workbook

Reading assignment for this week:

Yellow workbook pages 147-152 OR BRB pages 250 – 257

Red Book pages 10-18

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Tradition Seven (the tradition for the month of July) in depth starting on page 522 of the BRB

Suggested supplemental reading:

Melody Beattie, “Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps,” the Step Ten chapter, pages 153-167 of the 1990 edition.  See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

Patrick Carnes, “A Gentle Path Through The Twelve Steps,” the Personal Craziness Index section. See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

Red Book Chapter 8, “The Solution: Becoming Your Own Loving Parent”

This week’s step study questions are excerpted from the Step Ten worksheet on http://12-steps-recovery.com in conjunction with the yellow workbook, and from Melody Beattie’s book, “Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps” with the author’s permission:

1. Complete the Traits 8 through 14 exercises on pages 155-157 of the yellow workbook. How have you, or might you, integrate some or all of the last seven Laundry List traits?
2. What good did I do today? How was I loving and compassionate? Whom did I help today, and how?
3. When was the last time you noticed yourself doing something you did feel good about? How did you express your gratitude and appreciation for the gifts you bring to the world?
4. What is good in my life today? Who is a blessing in my life today? Have I expressed my gratitude to that person?

Deep Dive questions:

A. What do you understand to be the purpose of this Step?

B. What did you do well or differently today than you would have done prior to recovery?

C. How does this step help you to live in the present moment?

D. In what ways do you understand gratitude to be part of this step?

© Podenco Press’ 12 Step Workbook

Reading assignment for this week:

Yellow workbook pages 147-152 OR BRB pages 250 – 257

Red Book pages 10-18

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Tradition Seven (the tradition for the month of July) in depth starting on page 522 of the BRB

Suggested supplemental reading:

Melody Beattie, “Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps,” the Step Ten chapter, pages 153-167 of the 1990 edition.  See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

Red Book Chapter 8, “The Solution: Becoming Your Own Loving Parent”

This week’s step study questions are excerpted from the Step Ten worksheet on http://12-steps-recovery.com in conjunction with the yellow workbook, and from Melody Beattie’s book, “Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps” with the author’s permission:

1. Complete the Traits 1 through 7 exercises on pages 152-155 of the yellow workbook. How have you, or might you, integrate some or all of the first seven Laundry List traits?
2. What are your triggers for lapsing into dysfunctional behaviors? How can you best avoid or manage the events, situations, and people most likely to trigger dysfunctional behaviors?
3. What behaviors and attitudes are likeliest to trigger a relapse into dysfunctional behaviors? How can you best guard against lapsing into those behaviors and attitudes?
4. When was the last time you caught yourself doing something you didn’t feel good about? Did you take care of the issue promptly?(© Melody Beattie, Codependents Guide)
5. What amends or remedies could you make in the future when you have done something you don’t feel good about?

Deep Dive questions:

A. How can I remind myself to make Step Ten a part of my daily routine?

B. How can I use Step Ten to increase my awareness, without applying negative judgment?

C. What feelings or behaviors make me aware that a character defect {Laundry List trait} continues to affect me?

D. How does Step Ten help me to become aware of behaviors, habits, and attitudes that I did not recognize previously?

© Al-Anon’s Reaching for Personal Freedom Workbook

Reading assignment for this week:

Yellow workbook pages 137-146 OR BRB pages 235 – 249

Red Book pages 112-114, the “Making Amends” section

Red Book pages 641-643, “A Discussion About Step Eight and Step Nine”

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Tradition Seven (the tradition for the month of July) in depth starting on page 522 of the BRB

Suggested supplemental reading:

Melody Beattie, “Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps,” the Step Nine chapter, pages 131-152 of the 1990 edition.  See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

This week’s step study questions are excerpted from the Step Nine worksheet on http://12-steps-recovery.com in conjunction with the yellow workbook, and from Melody Beattie’s book, “Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps” with the author’s permission:

5. After you have made your first several amends, record your overall impressions. Is there anything common? Has anything surprised you? Has anything disappointed you? How do you feel about the process, and how has it affected you? How has making amends affected your relationships with others? What have you learned from this? What would you do differently next time?

6. How are you dealing with the feedback from others after making amends? How are you feeling? How are you dealing with the desire to defend yourself?

7. How can you celebrate or honor the completion of your making amends (Step Nine?)

Deep Dive questions:

A. Am I willing to accept the outcome of my amends, whatever it may be?

B. How can I be sure I am not just ducking an embarrassing situation?

C. Who on my amends list will never be available for direct amends? Can I make amends in another way? Can I do something for another person?

D. How can I forgive myself for all the difficulties I’ve caused myself? What can I do this week to begin my amends to myself?

E. When I have finished this action Step, what can I do to celebrate? Have I remembered to appreciate and reward my good deeds? The good deeds of others?

© Al-Anon’s Paths to Recovery Workbook

Reading assignment for this week:

Yellow workbook pages 137-146 OR BRB pages 235 – 249

Red Book pages 112-114, the “Making Amends” section

Red Book pages 641-643, “A Discussion About Step Eight and Step Nine”

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Tradition Six (the tradition for the month of June) in depth starting on page 518 of the BRB

Suggested supplemental reading:

Melody Beattie, “Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps,” the Step Nine chapter, pages 131-152 of the 1990 edition.  See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

This week’s step study questions are excerpted from the Step Nine worksheet on http://12-steps-recovery.com in conjunction with the yellow workbook, and from Melody Beattie’s book, “Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps” with the author’s permission:

1. What is the relationship that is bothering you the most right now? What do you need to do to take care of yourself in that relationship? What would you say if you were free to be entirely honest with that person about your behaviors, your feelings, and what you wanted and needed? How have you discounted yourself or not owned your power in that relationship? How have you discounted or devalued the other person? (© Melody Beattie, Codependents Guide)
2. What is the biggest guilt you have right now? Using the Steps as a formula, how can you deal with that, so you can be done with the guilt? (© Melody Beattie, Codependents Guide)
3. What amends do you think you have already made? These can include apologies already made, helpful tasks for those you have hurt, changed attitudes, and so forth.
4. Have you made your amends to yourself yet? How has that affected your friendship with yourself?

Deep Dive questions:

A. What is my true motive for making amends?

B. How has making amends freed me from feeling responsible for other people’s decisions?

C. What is an appropriate approach to take when making a direct amend would cause harm to others?

© Al-Anon’s Reaching for Personal Freedom Workbook

Following are a few optional exercises you may wish to complete on your own as well:

If you are ready, set some amends goals. For instance, name the people to whom you would like to make amends. Set a reasonable deadline and a goal for apologizing, wherever that is appropriate. Be as specific or as general as you want. You may want to make your goal “to become aware of the people I owe apologies to, then make those amends.” Or you may have a list of names and incidents and want to set a deadline for talking to these people. (© Melody Beattie, Codependents Guide)

From your list of amends, if there are apologies that you need to make, write them down. Read your apologies to a friend or sponsor if possible, or reread them several times to yourself while resisting the temptation to defend yourself or minimize the actions you’re apologizing for. Do your apologies sound defensive? Do they come across as an attack on the other person, or do they sound sincere?

Role play with your friends or sponsor anything you are planning to say during your amends, or speak your amends aloud to yourself in front of a mirror. How do your amends come across? Is your message and body language one of sincere apology?

For any amends you have made, write a self-forgiveness affirmation that helps you let go of guilt. A sample affirmation might read: “I love and accept myself. I have taken responsibility for my behavior with _________, and I am now free to let the past go.” We can also write a similar affirmation about forgiving others: “I have dealt with my feelings toward _________, and I have forgiven him or her. I have let go of my feelings toward him or her, and I allow peace and love to settle into our relationship.” (© Melody Beattie, Codependents Guide)

This week’s reading assignment:

Yellow workbook pages 131-136 OR BRB pages 227 – 234

Red Book pages 112-114, the “Making Amends” section

Red Book pages 641-643, “A Discussion About Step Eight and Step Nine”

Recommended weekly reading:

“The Laundry List” or “The Problem,” “The Solution,” and “The Promises” on pages 587-591 of the Red Book or in the first several pages of the yellow workbook;

“The Twelve Steps” on pages 91-92 of the Red Book (also on pages 1-2 of the workbook); and

“The Twelve Traditions” on page 592 of the Red Book

Tradition Six (the tradition for the month of June) in depth starting on page 518 of the BRB

Suggested supplemental reading:

Melody Beattie, “Codependents Guide to the Twelve Steps,” the Step Eight chapter, pages 123-129 of the 1990 edition, starting with the “Became Willing” section and continuing through the end of the chapter.  See ACAWSO’s Literature Policy: “It has always been accepted that ACA should remain eclectic in choosing literature. That is, ACA meetings may draw from various sources without censorship.”

This week’s step study questions are excerpted from the Step Eight worksheet on http://12-steps-recovery.com in conjunction with the yellow workbook, and from Melody Beattie’s book, “Codependents’ Guide to the Twelve Steps” with the author’s permission:

1. Take the list of people that you have harmed and make a list of possible amends to each one of them. Then, choose the amends that seem most appropriate, and rank them according to level of difficulty. Which amends will be the hardest for you to make? Which will be the easiest?
2. What consequences do you fear in making amends? What is the worst thing that can happen? What is the best thing that can happen? What is likely to happen?
3. Do you feel angry or resentful towards any people on your amends list? If so, write them a letter of anger, but don’t send it to them. Describe here any other ways that you have used to get rid of the anger and resentment towards anyone on your list.
4. Describe any dreams that relate to making amends to others.
5. What are the relationships, past or present, that bother you the most? (© Melody Beattie, Codependents Guide)
6. Would you like peace and healing in your relationships, even those you don’t wish to maintain? What are the barriers to healing that are still within you? (© Melody Beattie, Codependents Guide)

Deep Dive questions:

A. Can you identify any patterns of harms you have done? What are they?

B. How will you become willing?

C. What emotional (and other) harm have you done to yourself?

D. How will you forgive yourself?

© Podenco Press’ 12 Step Workbook